Fiction #13

After moving to Korea in 2012, I made a New Year's resolution to play more ultimate. I fell in love again with the sport and learned so many rules of the game and the spirit that separates ultimate from every other sport. 

One rule is sandbagging. I was not part of this hat tournament but there was a hat tournament where a highly-touted player signed up under a fake name and ranked himself in the middle of the pack. This is sandbagging.  In the end, his team won the tournament and a lot of people in the ROK-U community labelled him as a d-bag. Rightly so. But what about the people who do the opposite and sell themselves too high? Here's a story, it’ll be like reading Chinese if you don’t play ultimate. 

It’s a working title for now.

Trust

The final's hard cap was called at 6-6 and the wind had picked up. The sun was setting and the lights around the turf came on. Our captain never had a trust issue with any team, he always believed everyone on the field would make the right choice. Even if it meant playing a six-person offence. There were strong women who marked well and got open. There were two strong handlers on the field and a solid anchor, Bambi, who always got someone open. It had been a long point before. Our captain made several bids and chased the disc like no one else. He earned that point. No one would argue against that. It was a surprise when he stepped out of the game for Jonesy. We lined up across from the people we had been guarding the entire game. Off the pull, my mark, Dan, caught the disc. Trusting my teammates, I sprinted to force his forehand and he took his chance deep. Gonzo and his man were stride-for-stride chasing one of Dan's better flicks of the afternoon. It had the arc of a football. Gonzo slowed and took a step behind his man and leapt like an Olympian. He caught the disc. That's when anything could have happened. As much as I love Gonzo, he shouldn't catch a disc outside the end-zone. Usually, he'd be chilly and give a dump pass to Caps, Lo, or myself, but this was the finals.

"Toss the disc! I'm open!” Gonzo threw it to the first open man, and Ricky lucked out and looked up the field as he caught the disc one-handed. Without a lapse in the defence, a tight cup covered Ricky. He looked forward pointing. He shifted his shoulders awkwardly, trying to fake out the three-person cup. They didn't bite. He looked cross field at all the empty space. Without even glancing at a wide-open swing pass he threw up a hammer. Even with the wind in his face, he threw something over the top. You could hear hecklers on the sideline calling Ricky's name. Tommy, the mid zone, a man the size of a grizzly bear with arms like an orangutan, snatched it as the disc hooked backwards. I back-peddled knowing Ricky would have watched his throw as his man, Rockwell went deep anticipating the turnover. Tom recognised and respected my position and swung it to the middle to Ann.

"Catch your man, Ricky" I called behind me. The long points were taking their toll.

"I got it, Chip, don't worry," he panted, that's the last sound I wanted to hear.

The disc went deep again. Ricky took five hard strides and fell. Rockwell, jumped into the hair to grab what looked like the final point of our season. Then, as fate would have it, the wind gave the disc the tiniest boost. I stopped running I couldn't even believe it. Gonzo was in hot pursuit and smacked it to the ground this time and gave me the nod as we ran past each other. 

I grabbed the disc and brought it up to the end zone line and tapped it on the ground, patience is not required on universe point. I faked hard to the open side, then threw a blade under my mark's arm to Lo who caught it in stride. I pushed harder than ever to get to that open side, looking at Gonzo bouncing deep off on an in-cut. As I turned to go to my up-line cut Ricky was going there as well with his man in front of him. He planted hard and winced and walked out of the lane. I reset in the middle and watched Tilley grab the disc. 

I waited for Lo to make her move before deciding my route. She caught the disc again, closer to the middle. She wiped her sweaty brown hair off of her forehead and looked up the field for Gonzo.  He was blanketed. She looked at Tilley, then at an open Ricky and pumped to try and shake his defender off of Gonzo.  No luck. She swung it to me. 

Now we were in the end zone drill. The flawless offence we practised time and time again. I put it to the break side to Lo. She tossed it up to Jonesy. He looked up, pump faked to a standing Ricky and dumped it to Lo, who swung it to Tilley who got it to me on the opposite sideline. 

Ricky and I did not get along. I love this game; it is in my heart and my soul. Ricky thinks it's a great co-ed sport to meet women and show-off. I mean, the guy hasn't worn sleeves all season. Bambi found his spot and cut into the middle for a swing. Now, the wonderful, amazing thing about Bambi is he is ambidextrous. If he played it right, and he usually did, he made any throw he wanted. Gonzo was stuck in a bracket.

          “Ricky, you’re poached, go deep” the sideline called.

          Bambi was still holding the disc looking towards the end zone.

          “Ricky, you’re poached, go deep” the sideline called.

          I glanced over my shoulder at the situation. The man was gasping for air. He was stuck on the far wing. I made my cut towards Bambi, he fakes and dished off a push pass over his head. I grinned as I caught the sly pass. I looked up. Lo was running across the field over top of Ricky who was staggering along the sideline. Ricky’s man noticed and backed up.

Fuck he isn’t giving us a chance. Just call injury timeout, you can barely walk, I thought as the stall count climbed. I hit Jonesy on the open side. Looking forward on the opposite side of the field, Lo was beating her person to the side. Jonesy threw a wobbly backhand towards the end zone and the wind slowed it down enough for a turn. 

I exhaled and sprinted back onto D. Checking to see where Ricky and his man were. Rockwell knew the deal. He had known the whole point: he was smoking hot every time on offence.

“No one gets beat deep,” I said. “Call for help if you need it.”

“Stall One…” Jonesy called in his fog-horn voice, “UP!!”

I looked up and saw the disc. I ran even harder than I did for the strike cut (you can always go harder than harder on universe point). The wind was taking over the game and pushed the disc out of bounds, too far for an attempt at a greatest. Lo went for it and tapped it in.

“End-zone!” she called with the heart of a lion.

We set up our system and ran it to perfection. The sideline couldn’t believe it. They started counting after 10 complete passes. We were marching up the field. The variations we had practised knocked our opponents off of their game.  It wasn’t just swing passes to the outside. We opened the middle for a couple to keep them honest. Working it up in the shape of a W.

“Sixteen!” the sideline cheered.

Jonesy passed it back to Lo. She saw Gonzo’s man fall for the in-cut and Gonzo busted for the end-zone and Lo threw a backhand for the ages.

Again with that wind!

Gonzo slowed down and boxed out his man from getting the disc. He leapt and snapped the disc out of the air.  He just didn't land in the end zone.

Everyone was jogging up to reset the offence.

“Chilly, Gonzo” went the sideline chorus.

He stayed chilly and rocketed it back to me. I caught it with my stomach and two hands. The middle of the end zone was a cluster of everyone. My mark was forcing my backhand, I had to respect it and didn’t throw a flick to an open Jonesy.

“Seven” my mark shouted into my ear.

I had to force it. Ricky gave me a nod as he cut in towards the cluster of people. I read the direction and placed it on the open side. Ricky’s gloves parked that disc right in his hands. He screamed as he smashed the disc on the ground, he jumped and hollered as everyone on our sideline ran to the field. I sighed and smiled and laughed as my captain put his arms around me. 

“You did the right things, the whole way up, Chippy.” He said pinching my cheek. “I just didn’t think Ricky would have caught it.”

“Me neither,” I said, “I really wanted to hit Jonesy, but…”

“Don’t say it, just enjoy the night.”

We got into the group-hug and cheered and screamed overrun with exhaustion and adrenaline. We hugged and shook hands with our opponents/friends and discussed applauded the efforts of one another in a circle. I can’t remember how the night ended. I do remember that Ricky and I toasted each other several times at the bar to winning and nothing else.        

     

To Produce Produce

In my Junior year, I took a course called Food and Writing, which was all about the processes food is made and the way those processes are conveyed and evaluated. The main focus was on Food Security and the importance of buying local and getting the best products. We did a project that focused on raising awareness about a program devoted to providing low-income families with locally grown produce at a cheaper price than Wal-Mart and The Great Canadian Superstore. I really liked the professor and his philosophy towards both writing and food and continue to do my best to emulate him. Food's quality is hinged on its freshness and I've grown up with that ideology, carrying it along as best I can through my travels.

As a kid, I always grew up with a vegetable garden, and my mother has continued to broaden her horizons with herbs and veggies. Coming home from university or abroad for the summer was always refreshing. I always liked barbequing in the backyard picking at parsley while I waited to flip whatever was on the 'cue. When I lived in Korea I always did my best to buy local produce from the markets around my apartment and school. Obviously, I didn't get everything I wanted all the time (I was always giddy when Asian pears showed up) but you make due, it's the closest thing to living off the land when you live in a big city and/or don't have a green thumb. In Doha, there wasn't a lot of local stuff: sometimes spinach or dill but other than that everything came from somewhere off of the Arabian Peninsula. I did my best to buy KSA products but there still wasn't a lot from there either.

Now here in Jordan, the farmer's market has opened up and although it's small it's got some great stuff. This is my second time going there and it continues to grow. This week they had strawberries! The farmer's market is the only place I've seen zucchinis too. So besides supporting farm-to-table, there are just certain things that are unique to the market. The atmosphere is very cool. It's set up in a park and each food-selling-human has their booth set up with a chalkboard over top stating where they're from. All the booths are local businesses of one kind or another, but I really just go for the produce.

Apart from buying strawberries I also picked up some kohlrabi (I googled what I can do with that), heirloom tomatoes, broad beans, a multigrain loaf, and kale.

Here are some photos:

Price isn't really a big deal for me but the loaf was 2JD, the bundle of kale was 1JD, the pint of broad beans was a half JD, the strawberries were 5JD (which is steep), and the heirlooms and zucchini were 3JD together. I don't think I'm saving heaps but it's the principle of cutting off the middleman.

While I prep all this goodness I watch this show called Chef's Table on Netflix. It's pretty awesome and inspiring if you like cooking. Everything's over the top because these are some of the best chef's in the world but it's just cool to listen to their ideas on food.

Third time's the Charm! Asshole / President #11

I know, I know you were waiting for this for a long long time. I apologize. I didn't wait a sleep to revise I'm just dishing it ASAP. Here you go.

I have tried to write a blog about Dead to Red but it's too all over the place. Then I actually wrote a poem! Yes, a poem. Then I read it over and realised that it's pretty offensive if you read it in the wrong light, so it'll rear its ugly head in the summer or after someone has read it and given me their two cents.

Now, this is the third blog and as I type I still don't know what I'm going to write about...

Dating abroad!

Here we go. I was thinking about this while I was walking somewhere.

I love games. Board games, card games, video games, riddles, puzzles, whatever you've got I'll play it. So long as there are rules. Rules make games what they are. The rules confine you to this box and then when you win the game you're out of the box (shitty metaphor). But from clique to clique rules change. The best example I can think of is President, or Asshole. You can match, you can burn, you can play poker hands, you have 4 nukes, no jokers, one-eyed jacks, the suicide king and even the three of clubs in one circle of people. Regardless of the over-the-top or minimalistic approach of President/ Asshole you still want to get rid of all your cards first. The goal is the same but there are just different maps on how to get there.

Eventually, you just adjust to the game itself and the way to get to the finish line. The toughest one though was playing any game with Will Red Beard. Playing Settlers of Catan he'd trade resources to dodge the robber and act like a mobster when he had it in his hand. Apart from nights camping and playing 'chel, that was the only board game I was willing to play with him. He's a great guy and never claimed to not be competitive. He didn't bat his eyelashes and giggle as he did it. He treated it like business.

Dating is different. It isn't even dating abroad. Hell, macking abroad (what a pun!) but the rules are ever changing. I thought I had it figured out in Korea, then I moved to the Middle East and that crippled me. No PDAs? That's a damper on everything. There was one girl who got away because of that stupid rule and an incredibly creepy taxi driver. Everything involves second guessing yourself. There's the problem. Now hopefully every girl won't be a red beard.

Thanks.

Sports Talk#10

The NBA and the NHL's trade deadlines have come and gone leaving the sports world talking about who has become a contender, who's tanking the rest of the season, and who is committing to a playoff run. I'll be honest, besides listening to PTI, I have no exposure to any NBA news so some of my insights might be dated. I was thinking this would be my topic for the week before it even started but I'll rant about the NBA at one point. I do follow the NHL religiously and I have lots of things to say about the goings on in the hockey world.

Les Habitants

The worst goes first. The moves made in Montreal bolster the line-up and give it some depth. I think Jordie Benn solidifies their defence if any injuries occur, hopefully Jamie doesn't miss him too much in Dallas. I had never heard of Andreas Martinsen before probably because he plays for the Avalanche. He's big though and that will be an asset for a team that plans to go deep in playoffs. The Habs went big again by trading for 2-time Stanley Cup champ Dwight King. That's a big win no matter how you look at it. This team is built to win, but I hope they don't, ever.  To top it all off, Steve Ott will probably centre the two new bruisers. On paper that's a formidable line when they get the puck in the zone. Barring a catastrophe, the Canadiens will finish at the top of the Atlantic and will probably play either the Blue Jackets or the Rangers. Both of those teams have a physical presence that Montreal couldn't match until the trade deadline.       

Boyle and Fehr

I mentioned before that I thought the Leafs would stand pat at the deadline but the opportunity presented itself and Lou landed Brian Boyle and Eric Fehr. Fehr hasn't played a game but this is a sign that Gauthier might not be the guy they wanted him to be when they drafted him four years ago. Ergo, Brian Boyle comes to town for the rest of the season. Will they decide to re-sign him? I'll email Bob McKenzie. For now, Boyle is on a line with Matt Martin and Nik Soshnikov (who plays like he's the size of his linemates) and that's going to have the same role as that Martinsen-Ott-King line with more of a scoring touch with Soshnikov's shot. Eric Fehr won a cup last year and was picked up for Frankie Corrado, so I think we'll come out of this deal unscathed. Apart from getting defensively-minded players, the Leafs also have loaded up on experience: Fehr been in the first round of the playoffs several times and Boyle has to the finals twice.    

Vanek to Florida

Jagr is making another push for a cup. With the Eastern Conference champ being such a toss-up every team who has a chance at the playoffs levelled up in at least one way. Vanek is the consistent secondary scoring boost that the Panthers yearn for. He'll probably get powerplay time with Jagr and the kids (Barkov, Huberdeau, and Ekblad). 5-on-5 he'll be with some young talent too and provide some creativity in the offensive zone. Hopefully, the trade they made for Reece Scarlett will cover the back-end after losing Dylan McIlrath. I think instead of growing beards for the playoffs the whole team should just grow mullets.  

Lazar to the Flames

Every Canadian loves Curtis Lazar. To me, he'll always be that happy-go-lucky kid from the World Juniors who just couldn't stop smiling. His pro career never really took off in Ottawa and he struggled to crack the line-up with a couple of coaches. A change of scenery will be good for him especially now that he's surrounded by a young core to grow with.   

Kings add the old King of Calgary

It feels like a solid decade since Iggy played for the Flames, and it has been five years, which is a long time, but he'll always be a hero there. Now he's on the Kings. I don't really know what to think about this because I don't see the Kings making a move in the standings even with adding Ben Bishop. The West is simply too good and that core of the Kings is softer now: Brown was never very good, Kopitar (a fantasy disappointment outside of the faceoff dot) is underwhelming, Toffoli hasn't transformed into a great player, while Carter and Gaborik are getting too old to go through the regular season and the playoffs. I get to watch this team a lot because they start at 5 am in Jordan and I just can't see them outdoing Minnesota, Anaheim, San Jose, Nashville, Chicago, Edmonton, Calgary, or St. Louis for a playoff spot. Maybe a coaching change will change that but since they just picked up Iggy, who has played years for Sutter in Calgary, Sutter's job is safe for the rest of the season.     

Oduya back to Chicago

This a team that is en route back to that dynasty level of play they had when they won cups in 2010, 2013, and 2015. The fact Stan Bowman brought back Johnny O solidifies the idea the 'hawks are making a push. I remember in 2015 when the Blackhawks were playing in the playoffs up a goal with less than 2 minutes to go. Whatever the series score was it didn't matter but when the opposition pulled their goalie Oduya got the puck in his zone and intentionally flicked it out of the rink. That's the confidence that team has in itself, "We can play 2 men down for a minute and change, and not give up a goal. So long as we can ice the puck." Just on their resume alone, I like Chicago making it to the Conference Finals to play San Jose.    

The Senators

Trading Lazar away for an older defenseman, Jyrki Jokipakka, was a good idea (because you never know when Phaneuf will start laying eggs again). But before that, they picked up Alex Burrows, who is a symbol of what the Ottawa Senators stand for. This team doesn't have a lot of role players. As a whole, they're a great two-way team and it's a win by committee philosophy and Burrows can definitely fit in with that committee. Like most of the team, he'll provide 50-60 points and will kill penalties. He also adds the playoff experience this team needs to get deeper into the playoffs. It's a big addition, along with Stalberg who can work as part of that committee as well, but in a lesser capacity.  

Boogie in Nawlins

DeMarcus "Boogie" Cousins has been finally traded away. The Sacremento Kings are free (targets) for the rest of the season. Now with Boogie out of the way they can start rebuilding with what they have (a bunch of guards). On the other side of the Southwest, Anthony Davis has someone to play with. Unfortunately, they are still 4 players away from being Golden State or even relevant as a playoff threat. That's all I have to say off the top of my head. 

Shattenkirk to the Capitals

This is a big one! Kevin Shattenkirk, a highly touted offensive defenseman, has joined forces with the number one team in the league. I figure, Holtby can let in 3 goals a game and they'll still win 80% of them. Their line-up is amazing now. That's the only way you can describe it. But, this is the Washington Capitals we're talking about. We've seen this movie before: Amazing team beats the lowest seed in the first round and then loses in 6 or 7 games in the second because they run out of gas. The team doesn't have to lean on Ovechkin as much now with the young guns and Mr Game 7 on the roster along with Oshie (who has played with Shattenkirk before) and Backstrom too. For the sake of the city, it'd be nice for them to make it all the way this year. 

Hansen to The Sharks 

Now, this team was a formidable one before the deadline. Brent Burns is going to win the Hart Trophy if he keeps up this pace and takes his team to the finals, the two Joe's are playing well, the secondary scoring is blossoming after Hertl's return, and the defence is stable as always. Adding Hansen a very speedy forward the Sharks are in a difficult spot with Mikael Boedker who has been placed in a similar role to Hansen over the years. My prediction is Couture centres Hansen and Boedker and Marleau adds some more scoring depth on the third line with Hertl (who will return to centre) and Ward. Subsequently, Tierney moves down to the fourth line with Melker Karlsson and Sorensen while Michael Haley gets to drop in for some games to drop the gloves.   

The Rangers Land Smith

When a good player is on a bad team, they don't really get noticed unless they're invited to play for the all-star team then have a great game there. Brendan Smith didn't make it to the all-star game but has quietly had an alright season thus far. Granted, he only has five points (three on the PP) but he's +1 on a team with a goal differential of -27 which is frankly much better than I thought Detroit would be. Now he's on a team where he isn't expected to match up with the best players he'll find a niche in the lineup where he can contribute like past years in Detroit.

The Wild Wild

Finally, the team with the second biggest catch at the deadline. The Minnesota Wild have picked up Martin Hanzal and Ryan White. Now, Minnesota has four great centres: Mikko Koivu, Martin Hanzal, Eric Staal, and Erik Haula. Like the Senators, the Wild are a committee with some fading and up and coming stars. White has contributed offensively as well and that is just a pleasant surprise for this team. The biggest question is if Barbecue Bruce can keep it together and get this team into the third round of the playoffs (something he's never done). If they stay at the top of the West they should have an easy path.
  

Well, I guess that's all the big things. Eaves went to the Ducks but I can't see them making a big charge unless Gibson or, dare I say, Bernier turn it up a notch. That is the beauty, and also the pinnacle of frustration, in this game; a goalie can win a game for a team with very little help. I don't' think there's much else I felt like discussing. I'll be curious to see what happens to the Avalanche's stars in the offseason since they didn't get traded at the deadline. It was an exciting deadline, but there can always be more trades.